03.24.06
Posted in The Living Situ at 2:15 pm by Fletcher
So, after a pretty heft chat with Mr. Sam Adams, and a mindbender of a season finale of ‘Galactica’ I awoke with a preternatural yen for coffee, and was stymied, yet again, by the sinister coffee pot left behind by Austin, the recently departed roommate who was replaced by the swedish girls.
Austin donated this horrendous POS after he destroyed the carafe of our last coffee pot, a Black & Decker model that had faithfully served me well for many a year. And like other pieces of technology, while the trend is to overcomplicate things, it also means that there are more things to inevitably go wrong - which is why I want nothing more complicated than a coffeemaker that has a receptacle for water, basket to hold a filter and a carafe for holding said caffeinated beverage when its done brewing. I don’t need a clock, or a timer, or to differentiate between coarse ground chock-full-o-nuts and finely powdered italian espresso, nor does it need to be wi-fi internet enabled with advanced teledildonics 2.0 - I just want it to brew fucking coffee. Period.
So, for some reason, this retarded coffeemaker has the annoying habit of turning on at random times, especially after having filled it up for the next morning. (yes I am that type of guy, that will have the damn thing set up so when I wake up, I’ll just hit the switch and wait for the brew cycle to be done) Nothing is more annoying than setting the damn thing up, and go to bed, only to be awoken 3 hours later by the smell of fresh brewing coffee- which if I leave it be- will only turn into a tarry, molasses like goop, or if I turn off the pot, will take approximately 3 hours to warm up again, and I hate microwaving coffee.
So, in order to thwart this machination from hell, I’ve learned to fill it, and unplug the bastard, so when I wake up, plug it in, let it do its thing and I’m happy.
Until the bastard figured it out, and now is refusing to brew when I plug it in…
Resisting the urge to pulverize it into ashes, I methodically unplugged, and re-plugged it about 20 times, until it realized that I was going to keep doing it until it worked, or until I disassembled it with a hammer and used the remaining pieces as a urinal. Ye gods, there is nothing complicated about a coffeemaker, until some genius decides to thrown in a timer with faulty wiring, or some jazzy buttons that short out the moment a drop or water is spilled on them. And while I tend to use things well beyond their expiration date, this tainted piece of wretchedness has pissed me off enough to hasten its demise…
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03.22.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:32 pm by Fletcher
All right, no one is more ready for spring than me. Getting real tired of freezing my ass off on the morning commute, tired of freezing my ass off in the middle of the night, and just about every moment in between. Its wearing me out, and when I’m tired, I get irate and paranoid.
Which makes me jumpy and dangerous. So no sudden movements, or loud noises, please.
On the up side, life is about to start moving very quickly here- with a weekend trip to Atlantic City, and a chance to connect with my oldest friend in the universe, who has recently chastised my bitching and moaning over my week long sobriety, when he just pulled a month-long hiatus. So, we plan on celebrating our return to the wagon with many victuals and perhaps a few virgin sacrifices, just to appease the gods. And hey, if I get lucky at the blackjack tables, my next blog will be from the confines of my own island off the coast of Tonga (only $25K!) where I will build my armies of the undead and take over the world…
Otherwise, I’ll be entertaining out of towners next week, which is always fun - it always provides a fresh insight, seeing ones hometown through eyes unfettered by cynicism…
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03.19.06
Posted in The Living Situ at 10:28 pm by Fletcher
SO Saturday I was rudely interrupted from my morning coffee by the downstairs tenant, a whiny guy who can’t handle little things like water leaking from his ceiling. I wandered down to his hovel, simply to look at the gentle sheeting action of a leak somewhere in the vicinity of the bathroom.
I dodged a bullet by having him come up to look at the bathroom and kitchen to see that nothing of ours was leaking, and told him, sorry, it must be somebody else. Only to quick, break into the back bedroom to determine it was the hot water heater burbling away like a coffee pot with rabies, and spitting out scalding water like it was a baby spitting up. After getting the roomie to turn off the power and open up all the hot water taps to drain it, I did a little internet research to determine that it most likely it is the thermostat, and that by going inn the fritz, it was causing the water to continually heat up without ever shutting off.
I also discovered that left unchecked, the unit could explode, thus taking half the building with us.
So, off we went, looking for a hardware store that was open, and carried a replacement. Only to find that said item is a plumbing supply, and all those stores are closed on the weekend. We are now in a state of panic, switching on the power to heat up water, while everyone does laundry and takes showers in quick succession…
Hey, at least we’re all clean.
On an unrelated note: In the photo below I have documented a NY phenomenon that I have failed to understand, or find anyone with an explanation. Embedded in the streets on random corners are these signs, made of some durable substance that resists being rubbed or scraped off. The photo below is an example of one in the best condition I’ve ever seen. I have no idea what this message means, nor any clue about who put it there or why, or even how. Any insight from you, faithful reader, would be greatly appreciated.
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03.13.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 10:05 pm by Fletcher
Ah, the ability to post photos is back! Here are a couple of images that I’ve been meaning to post; the amazing foggy morning- and my handmade bottle opener, courtesy of Mike in Brazil…
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03.11.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:04 pm by Fletcher
Ah 63 degrees out, sunny.
Feeling the hunched over tension of winter melting away, wandering the streets with my camera, people walking dogs, mothers with strollers, tourists not paying attention to where they walk…
Just too damn nice to be indoors writing…
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03.07.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 12:44 pm by Fletcher
Wow, what a freakin’ great extra day off- not only did I slash thru the ‘get shit done list’ not only did I get extra stuff done (laundry, shopping, usual crap) not only did we get people in to look at the vacant room, I also was squeeze in a few rounds at the pub - listen to Jonathans epic tale of film fests in LA (more below) but I think I have a new model for the ’smoking bartender’ series…
Nice to feel like a lot of crap hanging over my head is now dealt with- namely tracking down, and booking an appointment with a dentist (tomorrow at 5) but now that we got the new roommate ball rolling, there is less pressure on the monetary front (as I do not have to worry about covering the missing rent) Plus, while taking on domestic chores, and good email correspondence, me and the roomie discovered an all day ‘Galactica’ marathon, which we downed like televised crack.
So, to celebrate a damn good day off- I popped down to the pub, to catch up with Jonathan, debate with the cool bartender and quaff a few ales. He had just returned from a film fest in LA and had many tales to tell (http://www.thelookawaylife.com/ )And it seems this one man band has a chance to receive accolades and awards usually merited to filmmakers with big budgets and access to exotic locations.
As it is, I’m back to the normal routine- and for some odd reason the blog won’t accept photos, so I’ll have to figure that out….
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03.02.06
Posted in Art at 3:32 pm by Fletcher
Ye gods, taking so much effort not to turn all dark side today. Seems like every single person who crosses my path is intent on slowing me down, wasting my time or otherwise draining my energy.
And anyone who interferes with Mr. Efficiency is automatically my enemy. And will be kicked out of my way.
On a more positive note: I am joining a life drawing class (luckily, a free one) and will get back into a favorite pastime, drawing naked people. The unfortunate part is that most models for this type of endeavor have the body shape of a basketball and the consistency of melted butter. But every now and again, you get lucky enough that even a relatively normal physique makes you feel like you’re studying classic Greek or Roman sculpture.
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So, after a pretty heft chat with Mr. Sam Adams, and a mindbender of a season finale of ‘Galactica’ I awoke with a preternatural yen for coffee, and was stymied, yet again, by the sinister coffee pot left behind by Austin, the recently departed roommate who was replaced by the swedish girls.
