08.16.06
The Great Smooth Hunt
Memo from the Photo Desk:
I realize the many of you had gone out of your way to make The Suavezinho welcome for his return from the Amazon Basin. I know what a pain it is to wear full dress uniform in August in Manhattan. I appreciate the effort to find and at least dust off the old red carpet, which hasn’t seen use since the departure of the Swedish Chicks. Also, as of further notice, Romulan Ale will no longer be served at diplomatic functions.
I was, as were you all, dismayed at the non-event, as the Suave One didn’t make an appearance. Rest assured that rumours of a political kidnapping, or that he was apprehended at the border trying to smuggle 40 cases of Cachaça, are indeed just that, rumors. This office is engaged in a massive effort to find our prodigal son, but repeated calls to the Brazilian embassy have been met with interviews with their futbol team (peppered with chants of ‘Ronaldinho’) and a horribly looped muzak version of ‘The Girl from Ipanema’.
This office is limited in staff and capability, so we enlist all of you to make at least one attempt at locating our lost brother, use whatever means necessary, but be advised that in the event of legal action, this office will deny any knowledge of your actions.
Fletcher
