08.24.06
‘This town needs an enema!’
Tired.
As in very tired. Trying to juggle too many things. Feeling like I can’t focus on one problem long enough to make any more than a cursory swipe at it before something else demands my attention. Getting even rudimentary tasks done seems like a herculean effort.
While I anxiously wait for the pump that I need for the blood project, I’ve been working on the animation, latest attempt can be seen here. Ugh, its like pulling teeth at this juncture. Whenever I get an idea to make it better, it opens up a whole new can of ‘how the hell can I make this work?’ There come a point in every creative project that the ol’ self doubt creeps in. That I’m nothing more than a hack, and that I’ve reached the end of my creative powers. That’s it, just give up, become a friggin’ accountant and relegate yerself to a mundane existence of mindless drudgery, where the highlight of my day will be watching the latest reality show, ‘The World’s Top Middle Manager’.
As always, its a cycle. With every project it goes in rough order: Enthusiasm, energy, idea diarrhea, try too many things, lose focus, throw out all ideas, panic, depression, late night creeping fears, find solution in weirdest way possible, all night high-speed marathon, tweaks, coat of paint to hide the flaws, submit to client for final approval, collapse when approved, sleep…
Of course, this can all be attributed to stage jitters, as next weekend is the big film shoot. I expect it to be like all the others, long days, lots of lifting, waiting, thinking furiously over multiple logistics problems, emotional meltdowns, screaming matches, bad weather, bad food, and other social Darwinism experiments. It ought to be fun.
