03.30.07
Posted in Uncategorized, Life at 1:11 pm by Fletcher
Thirsty Thursday: The ‘I’m free, to do what I want, any old time’ edition
Its finally over…
I’m now an official unemployed freelance artist.
The last day went fairly smooth, basically watching out for the people who were taking over my duties, cleaning all the persona crap from desk and computer and then hitting the pub with my former co-workers.
Funny how people who normally wouldn’t stop to piss on you if you were on fire suddenly get so emotional when thin gs like this come to pass. Bah, I know who the real, genuine good people are, and will keep in touch - the rest, well; nice knowing you…
First order of business: Shave the Majestic Facial Hair. As a Lent-ish act of inanity, I stopped shaving until said job is over, eliciting both positive and negative opinions - I’ll post before and after pics later, judge for yerself.
Second order: Weekend hibernation, probably limited contact, a media fast, start exercising and a raw fruit and veggie diet to cleanse out the toxins. Looks like the weather will be ok, a lot of walking; quiet contemplation and shaping up my rough game plan for the rest of my life…
Currently listening to: Soup Dragons, ‘I’m Free (to do what I want)’
and lastly, yes - I changed the name of the ol’ online journal - since I ran into the ex and made peace, the old name no longer seemed relevant - this new one does, however it may be subject to change…
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03.29.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 5:20 pm by Fletcher
Thank you Mr. Shakespeare.
Last day. Capricorn 15’s. Year of the city - 2274. Carousel begins.
Wordpress keeps throwing up error messages, hope this goes out…
Got a call from Ninjascott - looks like he has a gig for me already, I should be on a set in 2 weeks, plying my Hollywood trade already…
More details when Wordpress calms down.
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03.28.07
Posted in Uncategorized, Life at 6:19 pm by Fletcher
LAST WEEK OF THE professional toe-jam.
Two days left.
Night shift.
At least the replacements are trying to absorb the workload - albeit slowly and unassuredly, leaving my and my fellow proles to observe, make suggestions and bail out the poor fuckers when they get flustered…
The Muse emailed me yesterday - wanting to grab a drink, and since it was so seasonable, outside was mandatory. My first (and usually only) choice is, of course, The Pub, so we met there, a couple of her co-workers in tow…
Ahh, the joys of the outdoor cafe, watching the world go by - dog walking, people on cell phones, first spray of color showing on the trees, people watching people, and of course, with the warmth: the shedding of clothes.
I swear the guy who invented tank tops for women should be given a Nobel prize, the Presidential Medal of Honor, money and a National Holiday. It was (and is) the greatest invention of all time, better than the automobile, Tivo, and two for one drinks at the bar. Nothing in this world has given me more joy, more smiles than the simple cotton ribbed tank top…
Especially spaghetti strap ones.
Sigh.
Anyway, it was an absolute joy waking to the knowledge that I never, ever need to get up at 5 AM to come here again. I slept in late, made a damn good breakfast (garlic and rosemary potatoes with eggs scrambled with andouille sausage and brie) checked the headlines and took a nap…
Damn, I could get used to this…
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03.27.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:31 am by Fletcher
Last week of the vocational butt-nugget.
3 days left.
My last morning getting up at 5 AM.
When I was riding the train home yesterday, I was wound up - stress pounding at my temples, neck and back tightened like coil spring, needing to just deflate… And then I remembered an email I got from Producer Lydia, who wanted to meet up and talk some shop.
I tried to remember where she worked, wracking my brains for a direction to stomp towards. Metro, that’s it, that’s where she works. So, I manage to find it, settle down to a pint of Brooklyn lager and wait till her shift starts - trying to release the tension in my neck, watching CNN on the big TV.
Surprisingly, the ale and zoning out to network news does the trick, and by the time Lydia arrives for her shift, I’m relaxed and the days stress is floating away… We talk over a pint and a burger that I had order (damn good one too!) and catch up - her man, the talented and energetic Ninjascott is line producing a TV show out in Texas. I tell her lurid tales of my last days of employment, and eventually we get to the point: I want to do a re-edit of ‘Like a Springsteen Song.’
What I’m worried about is that this is Lydia & Scott’s baby. They wrote it, produced it, acted in it, blood, sweat, tears, dyspeptic ulcers and all. The last thing I need to do is to perform elective surgery on it. Its a delicate place, saying that ‘yer baby is so wonderful, but would look better if we cut this off!’ Not a place that I want to be. BUT.
It is an amazing film - and I want to show them that a little pacing could make it a great film, and I want them to win praise, awards and accolades that the so richly deserve…
And then give me jobs in the future, when they’re rich and famous.
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03.26.07
Posted in Uncategorized, Art, Life at 8:44 am by Fletcher
LAST WEEK OF THE OCCUPATIONAL HEMORRHOID.
Weekend update:
Got a great deal of creative work accomplished - in no small part due to me getting off my lazy ass and purchasing a new desk chair - with lumbar support. With my old chair, I could maybe work for an hour before I’d feel tension in my neck, forcing me to get up, stretch, go for a walk, get acupuncture, see a voudou priestess, megadose on ibuprofen, nap and then resume work…
Once I got this new chair, assembled it and took it for a test drive, it was a match made in heaven and I quickly spend 4 or 5 hours working on the ‘Sovereignty’ animation - latest efforts can be viewed here. (and yeah, I know there’s a couple of weird things happening, I’ll fix them later…)
I also squeezed in a small bit of painting - according to The Muse, I need to work on it more, as it is the path to enlightenment. I will, just right now I’m tied up trying to get through this last week of hell, and once I got on a roll with the animation, I found it difficult to stop… I think when the unemployment hits, I need to budget my time on all of my projects, so all of them get equal work.
Sunday was too nice to be trapped indoors, so I saddled up with my camera, hit the streets and just enjoyed the day. The first signs of budding have begun and with it the promise of better days. I bought some new paintbrushes at Utrecht and goodies from East Village Cheese, finding stuff for video game texture maps and contemplated name changes for the site. I’m thinking something epic, fun and creative, like: “The Adventures of a Pixel Pusher”…
Sunday night, I’m tired, had my fill of sitting, walking and being in the habitat so I wander down to the Pub for a couple of ales. Its busy, as the UNC - G’town game is on, and the bar is filled with UNC alumnus. The Director is chatting with Michael, the owner of the house we did the original (and soon to be second) ‘Sovereignty’ shoot at. We catch up and talk about fun times behind and ahead of us. He introduces me to Stewart, a buddy of his from college, telling him of how I covered his garage doors in fake blood. We talk about my imminent bum-hoodedness, and he joking tells me that I can mow his lawn for a few bucks. Since he does financial work, I tell him I’m more interested in leaning about CD’s and T-bills, to sink my severance pay into… The game ends in OT, UNC fans disappointed and I head on home, tired and wanting the week to be over with already…
You ask me, they outta make this mandatory, instead of by prescription.
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03.23.07
Posted in Thirsty Thursday at 8:37 am by Fletcher
Thirsty Thursday: The Last One Edition.
The warm humid air lulls me down the hill to the Pub, people sitting outdoors once again - ah, Springtime in The City, outdoor cafes, those skimpy spring dresses women wear, the relaxed pace. I spy Tiff having a manager meeting outside and I nod, we both grin - feeling that same playful enjoyment of a afternoon relaxing in the newness of it all…
Perfect Tommy is on the bar, teaching a couple of friends the finer points of bartending. He’s already got my pint waiting for me, and everyone in the place just seems so mellow, as if some charm prevented negativity from walking in the door. Cat, the waitress I helped get a job at the Pub, is sporting a new vampy haircut - she quickly related an update on our friend Kate, who has had a bout of ill health recently - and it seems that she’s on the mend…
The bar seems a little more crowded than usual, looks like a party upstairs is waiting for the last guests to arrive. Gets weird sometimes, one minute it’s standing room only, the next its like a empty stadium. Once the party files upstairs, I resume my usual spot at the end of the bar, down by the waitress station, Perfect Tommy trying to steal kisses from one of the new waitresses; who rebukes him for having eaten Indian food, and in large quantities…
One of the owners and a manager I’ve met a few times come over and shake my hands, they both thank me profusely for trying to fix the Mixmaster 3000 computer, I’m surprised and honored, wasn’t sure if either of them knew who I was, and I feel a bit of residual guilt over taking their money, but not accomplishing much. They both shrug it off, saying that what they appreciate was me making the effort, thanking me for my time and the implication is that I might be their ‘unofficial’ tech guy in the future.
Hey, free beers, food and money? A guy could get used to this…
I meander back to the habitat, a warm rain falls gently, making the sound of taxicab tires on the wet pavement sound remarkably like bacon sizzling in the pan, as I reach the last corner before my block, I catch the eye of a cute blond with librarian glasses, we both smirk at each other, eventually breaking into huge grins…
Her smile stays with me, all the way home.
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03.22.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:24 am by Fletcher
The Director emailed me with a Tech Support question for the Music Mixmaster 3000 machine at the Pub. Seems that every time they reboot the machine, they get a ‘ntldr is missing’ error and then it just dies…
In our long and sordid history, The Director has this amazing Negative Technology Force Field that computers in his immediate vicinity just DIE on him. And while I’ve been pretty good at bringing them back to life, each new problem becomes more difficult to troubleshoot and solve. I keep telling him, he is in the wrong line of work - he need to do covert ops for the CIA, just get him near an enemy’s mainframe and WHOOSH! all their data would be lost in a microsecond… Who needs an EMP blast from a nuclear explosion, just have The Director invited for a 5 minute chat.
But, the promise of beer, dollars and learn something new were lure enough to head on down to the Pub, and try my hand at this latest tech problem. Which soon proved to be more difficult than I thought. And after two hours of fighting with the machine, I had to admit defeat.
There is nothing more frustrating to me than to have a good potential solution only to be stymied by a minor detail. I think if we had had the XP install disk we could have gotten the fucker running again, but alas - it was nowhere to be found. The problem with the Pub office is that between 3 owners, 4 managers and a staff of 20 or so bartender and waitresses, nothing is organized and most of the computers barely function, due to spyware installed in all the software and food and beverages encrusting the hardware… I love fixing things, I enjoy solving problems, and when I can’t - part of my brain shuts down, unable to move forward; still working on the problem.
Which can be a huge bitch sometimes, when I need to focus on something else - and usually it takes bourbon shots or blunt force trauma to get me to snap out of it… I felt guilty taking the money that was offered, and quickly assuaged the karma involved by donating most of it to Perfect Tommy and his tip jar - I like getting paid for actual services rendered, delivering results - not ‘taking a stab at it’. Guess I’ll have to get over that at some point… Especially with imminent unemployment looming.
On the positive side of things - thank you all for the sheer massive number of hits yesterday, I was shocked to see the numbers go through the roof like that. If that is an indication of what people want to read, well then The Illustrated Adventures of Fletch vs. The Killer Robot Zombies is sure to follow. Just remember to spread the word…
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03.21.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:57 am by Fletcher
A Rant about stupid Corporate Robot Zombies…
I fucking hate you.
Stupid ass, pasty pear shaped fucktards who mill about like a plague of mindless automatons, I just want to throw a bucket of ice-cold water on you to wake your sorry asses up. You were able to somehow drive yourself here, why can’t you walk without getting in my way, cutting me off or speeding up to get in front of me and then fucking stop? If you drove the way you walk, you’d be wiped off the surface of the planet faster than you could blink.
Why must you run with your over sized Starbuck’s Latte and hands full of breakfast when I step into the elevator? You’re acting like this is the last chopper out of Saigon - there are at least 8 other elevators to catch, they’re all in operation, can’t you wait for one of them? Now I have to listen to you gasp and wheeze like you just ran a marathon, and give me that weasel-eyed glare like I was going to leave you stuck in the lobby - are you that freaking eager to sit at your dead-end cubicle??
And why is it you need to hover over the fucking coffee machine, making minute adjustments to your cheap-jack corporate coffee? You add a little milk, some sugar, taste it and repeat: 6 FUCKING TIMES. And then stand around trying to engage me in small talk. No, I do not want to hear what you heard on NPR this morning, no I don’t wanna hear how some asshole didn’t hold the elevator while you weeble-wobbled your way through the lobby and no I don’t want to talk about how fucking cold it is outside - I know. I walked here instead of driving my gas guzzling SUV - maybe that’s the reason why my ass is a fraction of the size of yours…
And Sweet Fucking Jeebus, stop hovering around my cubicle. Just because we shared one dumb ass joke in a moment of crisis does not mean we’re asshole buddies for life and will be taking long showers together. I have a job to do and many more Zombie Robots to deal with, and with you distracting me, I’m bound to make some stupid assed mistake and have to listen to more Corporate Zombie speak about ‘team players’ and ‘keeping my eye on the ball’ and other bullshit. All because you wanted to tell me about what dumb-assed TV show you watched while stuffing your face with polyunsaturated fats and yellow-dye #2. (its a well know fact that if zombies can’t eat brains, red and yellow dyes in industrial amounts will suffice)
So, that’s it Zombies. Don’t bug me - I’m stocking up my bomb shelter and have my shotgun (The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line.) nearby to deal with you and your kind, smartly and effectively…
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03.20.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:57 am by Fletcher
2 weeks left.
8 days at work.
I’ve got ‘Senior-itis’ so bad, I can fucking taste it.
And it looks like the occupational underwear stain will be insanely busy until the last, final moment.
And its the last thing in the world that I need, it should slow down, instead of cranking up.
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03.19.07
Posted in Uncategorized, Art, Life at 10:50 am by Fletcher
St. Patty’s pub crawl…
Well, what can I say, we observed the occasion in the finest tradition. Irish bar (Dempsey’s, no less) packed like Tetris pieces on the game board. Shots were drank. Instant friends made with people sitting next to us. Random butts were grabbed by inebriated young ladies. Long term friendships were reaffirmed. U2 song were sung, con gusto. And everywhere we went, just good happy people, as if the world forgot its troubles for one day and decided to buy a round for all…
Amazingly, I wasn’t too bad the next day - Guiness is my new favorite for the long term marathon drinking. Faculties were kept intact, and I was just a little foggy the next day.
I was lucid enough to get some chores done, do some painting, and rip a 160 gig hard drive out of a DVR cable box and install it in the ol’ Fletcher 2000 custom computer. I now have enough storage on my machine that I could edit a feature film…
I got a call from Heather, and decided that we needed to celebrate her success on becoming a published (and paid!) writer. So we talked, she was bemused by the comments that her family had left - she’s trying to be a serious author, and her kin is reacting like she just had a role in a grade school play…
I talked about my recent adventures, including the recent Sighting of the Ex, when her phone rang - it was Ninjascott, who was at the Pub with Lydia, and we should get our butts down there and join them for a drink. We rally ourselves and soon we’re all together, the Laurel Films team - reunited and getting ready for another season of creative mayhem. Ninjascott is heading to Texas in a few days, doing production work on a TV show, and Lydia is running nonstop between the restaurant and her internship… Ninjascott told me that he might have a few small shoots that I could work on, get more experience being on set and learning the trade…
Words really can’t come close to what I was feeling - it seems like, for once, all is right in the universe. There is no comparison, being with people who have the same drives, the same passion, united towards a common goal - as the night drew to a close and we parted ways - I thought a lot about recent events and what Heather had said about this online journal…
It’s time to change.
Since I’ve moved on, beyond the initial twisted impulse that gave birth to this blog, it is no longer relevant to keep the name ‘The Bitch Done Left With My Dog’ - it was a third rate song by a fifth rate country band, whose name I’ve forgotten. A new friend of mine, Shannon the Baker, had told me that I should shift my focus; concentrate more on my creative output and less on the bar adventures - and I think she and Heather are right…
So, I’ve left the comments open - I’m entertaining suggestions for the Renaming of the Blog. These pages may be archived at some point - or I might just start a second one, one dedicated to my next steps as a artist, trying to find fame, fortune and glory in the world.
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