So I went from a place of feeling on the verge of a huge breakthrough to sitting on the side of the road, huffing exhaust and feeling like a discarded soda can.

I was a week out from being interviewed on the local BBC radio station and then a week later kicking off a 10 day film festival that would be showing my game to an expected guest list that could number in the tens of thousands.

Then the world came to a screeching halt.

Its always strange – to have everything come screeching to a halt. And really nothing to indicate that things will return to normal. And of course, the unending panic of the world being tuned upside down and not knowing just how dark or desperate things might get.

This isn’t the first (or 3rd or 7th) time I’ve felt this kind of panic.

I lived through 3 terrorist attacks when I lived in NYC- and each time it got closer. I was far and gone from the ’93 bombing of the WTC, so I had very little in the way of connection to it, other than a panicked call from my mother. I WAS a lot more involved with 9/11 – seeing as I was literally in the shadow of the 1st plane, getting into a cab on 30th when it flew overhead. And the last one – when the gal in the above Post cover got infected with anthrax about 25 feet away from my desk.

I spent a lot of time those years chain smoking and pretty drunk.

And now.. yet again the world seems to be turned upside down – and in darker moments; ending yet again. And I don’t have the luxuries of Parliament Lights or an unending bar tab at Under the Volcano and an eager bartender ready to pour me a Dos Equis if I brought him a copy of tomorrow’s paper – I have a wife and 2 kids that need me more than I’ve ever been needed. And, I take courage in the fact that I DID survive those tough times – and despite their immense toll, I made it through and will make it through this one as well.

And I have a damn VR game I *must* finish and publish. Even if the world is coming to an end.

and other big news

So I went to show my game at MakerX this past weekend, & since its down in Columbus, I stay with my bro-in-law to not have to pay for a hotel room, have a much shorter drive to the convention center, and… of course, raid his beer fridge.

In previous years, I’ve always texted him in advance – making sure I’m not abusing his hospitality or visiting at a wrong time – and he always welcomes me without hesitation; to which I always replied, ‘poonag!’

Which, for the uninitiated, is T9 for ‘smooch!’

THIS time around, since I finally got a modern phone and abandoned ye olde flip phone – I ‘could’ spell smooch! with no problem. I felt kinda sad about this and told him so. His response? “No worries, it’ll always be poonag! to me…” – I now need to learn how to sing so I can send him my version of Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman” with my own twist on the lyrics, of course.

MakerX has its own special charm, since its free (minus $5 parking) its a LOT more family oriented, and a lot more kids. Which meant I never sat down, was talking constantly and pretty much spent my entire time demoing my game. I was a total dummy – I forgot my business cards! I did give out a larger than usual number of stickers, which does have the website, so at least I’ve got that going for me.

I also got some much needed footage of me demoing my game, which I’ll use in my ‘elevator pitch video’ that a lot of grants and small business contests want. Hopefully my beer gut doesn’t show too much. Or, then again, maybe its a good thing if I’m touting myself as a ‘stay at home dad dev’ – the dad bod might help sell the image.

The best part was coming right off the buzz I get from showing my game is coming home and seeing in my inbox that I was accepted into the Cleveland International Film Festival Perspective’s Exhibit. I’ll be having my game shown to a completely different crowd, and potentially to a whole new demographic that wants to throw money and accolades my way.