Back before the world came to a halt, I had set up a cork board with ‘big picture’ reminders, namely a weekly organizer so I didn’t let any aspect of dev work slip without giving it some attention.

I had:

• Marketing Monday – make some attempt at promoting my game
• Tech Tuesday – make backups, clean and organize my projects
• Writing Wednesday – blog, write marketing materials, grant proposals
• Texture Thursday – create assets and art
• Free-for-all-Friday – which I’m now considering changing to Followup Friday

When I woke up this morning, I saw my board and realized, I hadn’t written a blog post since JUNE, I felt it was high time to rectify that – even though I rarely get more than a glance or two (and most of my hits are bots and scrapers) I still feel its important to keep up with scribbling down hasty notes about my development journey – on the hopes that someone might find it useful.

The featured image is a book written by a friend of mine. I was totally flattered when he approached me to illustrate the cover. he wanted a ‘ Jules Feiffer’ styled loose sketch, and I did my best to deliver. I should be getting the paperback delivered tomorrow, it’ll have a honored spot on my bookshelf.

So, I finally finished the #100daysofgamedev challenge. Per the rules:

Each day you do some game dev, just post your update. If you miss a day, don’t post an update. When you start up again, continue from where you left off. Simple as that! You’ll get the badge whenever you finish the milestone. So it may take you 40 days to complete 30 days of game dev – that’s fine! Still a success

For those who want to go for a streak, by all means! You can challenge yourself as much as you choose to. I’ve updated the #guidelines to reflect this new change.

So – I started on Sept. 28th; and obviously did not post every single day. Some days I forgot. Some days I got called away before I could even post a progress update. Some days the entire world went to hell in a handbasket and I took a couple of depressed months away from working on my game – bound by duty to first care for my family during a pandemic; while the wife worked from home, I tended to the wee lads and their home schooled quarantine education while providing semi-nutritious meals for all and cleaning up after my cat with a sensitive stomach.

I was seriously crushed that right after showing my game at MakerX, and I was neck deep in prep for both a radio interview, a big push for fundraising / grant research and getting my demo polished for the Cleveland Int’l Film Festival that all of it got… cancelled.

I stopped working for weeks.

I just didn’t have the energy to look at anything other than the constant stream of news about the virus. Corrupt government. Murder hornets. The Mayans were off about 2012 and its really supposed to be 2020.

I played a LOT of Stardew Valley.

I started back after seeing an Asset Store Sale and picking up a haptic feedback asset. And started looking at dev discord channels again. And seeing the #100daysofgamedev challenge.

I had been languishing in the 60 day mark for months. Time to remedy that. Taking a page from the dev who made ‘The First Tree’- I decided to have zero sum day – something must be worked on the game, even if it was just tweaking a texture. And I did it the next day. And the next.

And now – here I am, finally finished my #100days – the workd has changed since I started. I’ve changed. And I am still working on my game.

So, in this time of quarantining, home schooling, feeding a constantly hungry family, cleaning a messy house that no one ever leaves, laundry, day drinking, naps and now being able to resume gaming (that I gave up for Lent) – I’ve found returning to game development to be difficult.

Its almost as if I have too much on my plate.

But, hey – I’m getting a lot of painting done in the meantime.

What got me slowly churning back towards dev work was the Unity Asset Store sale – I saw an asset that controls haptic feedback for controllers, and thought to myself, ‘I’ve always wanted that in my game!’

So I bought it – tried adding it my demo – had it turn into an abysmal failure and now I’m trying to get everything working in 2019. I’m feeling a huge need to upgrade my project to get the things I want working – including the aforementioned haptics, and a glow asset that seemed to just stop working in 2017.4

And, of course, the upgrade curve presents its own challenges.

Text mesh Pro seems to require a shamanistic, voodoo-esque ceremony to get working after an upgrade. Thanks Unity, for packaging a converter app to make it work, guess it was easier than just ‘making it work automatically’ when you upgrade your project.

Now I have to figure out how to have my TMP assets not have my Anima 2D assets show through them. Guess I’m back in the dev game.

Again.

So I went from a place of feeling on the verge of a huge breakthrough to sitting on the side of the road, huffing exhaust and feeling like a discarded soda can.

I was a week out from being interviewed on the local BBC radio station and then a week later kicking off a 10 day film festival that would be showing my game to an expected guest list that could number in the tens of thousands.

Then the world came to a screeching halt.

Its always strange – to have everything come screeching to a halt. And really nothing to indicate that things will return to normal. And of course, the unending panic of the world being tuned upside down and not knowing just how dark or desperate things might get.

This isn’t the first (or 3rd or 7th) time I’ve felt this kind of panic.

I lived through 3 terrorist attacks when I lived in NYC- and each time it got closer. I was far and gone from the ’93 bombing of the WTC, so I had very little in the way of connection to it, other than a panicked call from my mother. I WAS a lot more involved with 9/11 – seeing as I was literally in the shadow of the 1st plane, getting into a cab on 30th when it flew overhead. And the last one – when the gal in the above Post cover got infected with anthrax about 25 feet away from my desk.

I spent a lot of time those years chain smoking and pretty drunk.

And now.. yet again the world seems to be turned upside down – and in darker moments; ending yet again. And I don’t have the luxuries of Parliament Lights or an unending bar tab at Under the Volcano and an eager bartender ready to pour me a Dos Equis if I brought him a copy of tomorrow’s paper – I have a wife and 2 kids that need me more than I’ve ever been needed. And, I take courage in the fact that I DID survive those tough times – and despite their immense toll, I made it through and will make it through this one as well.

And I have a damn VR game I *must* finish and publish. Even if the world is coming to an end.

and other big news

So I went to show my game at MakerX this past weekend, & since its down in Columbus, I stay with my bro-in-law to not have to pay for a hotel room, have a much shorter drive to the convention center, and… of course, raid his beer fridge.

In previous years, I’ve always texted him in advance – making sure I’m not abusing his hospitality or visiting at a wrong time – and he always welcomes me without hesitation; to which I always replied, ‘poonag!’

Which, for the uninitiated, is T9 for ‘smooch!’

THIS time around, since I finally got a modern phone and abandoned ye olde flip phone – I ‘could’ spell smooch! with no problem. I felt kinda sad about this and told him so. His response? “No worries, it’ll always be poonag! to me…” – I now need to learn how to sing so I can send him my version of Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman” with my own twist on the lyrics, of course.

MakerX has its own special charm, since its free (minus $5 parking) its a LOT more family oriented, and a lot more kids. Which meant I never sat down, was talking constantly and pretty much spent my entire time demoing my game. I was a total dummy – I forgot my business cards! I did give out a larger than usual number of stickers, which does have the website, so at least I’ve got that going for me.

I also got some much needed footage of me demoing my game, which I’ll use in my ‘elevator pitch video’ that a lot of grants and small business contests want. Hopefully my beer gut doesn’t show too much. Or, then again, maybe its a good thing if I’m touting myself as a ‘stay at home dad dev’ – the dad bod might help sell the image.

The best part was coming right off the buzz I get from showing my game is coming home and seeing in my inbox that I was accepted into the Cleveland International Film Festival Perspective’s Exhibit. I’ll be having my game shown to a completely different crowd, and potentially to a whole new demographic that wants to throw money and accolades my way.